10-year wait: Grove woman hopes recent ruling means state will recognize her marriage

A light at the end of a 10-year-long tunnel.

That's how a former Grove woman described U.S. District Judge Terence Kern ruling on Jan. 14 to strike down Oklahoma's voter-approved ban on gay marriage.

"I've never been happier," explained Dawn McKinley, as the news sunk in last week.

For McKinley, a 1990 graduate of Grove High School, the ruling may finally mean the May 18, 2004 wedding between herself and Kathy Reynolds may finally be recognized in their home state.

"This means our 10-year wait may be near the end," McKinley said. "We'll be able to carry on and be as equal as our next door neighbors. This is a light at the end of the tunnel for us."

* * *

McKinley and Reynolds never set out to be crusaders for gay marriage. They were simply a couple, in love, who wanted the legal protection a marriage license would bring.

The need became obvious, McKinley said, when Richardson became seriously ill and was hospitalized in September 2003.

Even though the couple had been together for three years, hospital officials initially kept McKinley from Richardson's side. But through a series of events — and because doctors needed answers for Richardson's initial treatment, McKinley was allowed to be by her side.

Over the next few days, McKinley said it became obvious that even though Reynolds was in her late 20s at the time, without a marriage license, doctors considered her a "stranger" in the case, because legally, they were not considered family.

"I don't think I realized how much we didn't have until we spent the night in the hospital...for seven days," McKinley said.

The couple began to discuss marriage, but they wanted to be married in Oklahoma. Something that seemed impossible at the time, even though they were together, then living in Owasso, helping raise McKinley's daughter, Cheyenne.

* * *

Marriage became a possibility, when someone shared that, because they were Cherokee Nation citizens, laws at the time would allow them to obtain a marriage license to be certified by the tribe.

The requirements required the couple to obtain a Cherokee Nation marriage license, be married by a minister certified by Cherokee Nation, have the ceremony take place on Cherokee Nation land, and say vows in the Cherokee language.

At that time, the Cherokee Nation marriage license read "provider and companion," rather than gender-specific roles.

So on May 13, 2004, the couple went to the Cherokee Courthouse, gave their Oklahoma drivers' licenses, with their gender and names clearly marked. They received their marriage license from the clerk without issue.

On May 18, 2004, after marrying on Cherokee land in Mohawk Park near the Tulsa Zoo, the couple returned to the courthouse to file their license, the final step to have their marriage officially recognized by the tribe.

At the time, court administrator Lisa Fields denied the request. Reynolds said they asked Fields to place her denial in writing. "As she wrote, [Fields] said, "If it was up to me, I would file it."

According to the couple, in June 2004, a moratorium was placed on all marriage licenses issued by the tribe. Then on June 16, 2004, Todd Hembree, the tribe's attorney, filed to have the couple's marriage invalidated citing he had been harmed.

On Aug. 5, 2005, Reynolds said nine of the tribal councilors in their official capacity filed a petition for declaratory judgement in the Judicial Appeals Tribunal, the Cherokee Nation's higher court, to declare marriage defining marriage as being between a man and woman. Six members did not participate in this action.

On Dec. 22, 2005, the Judicial Appeals Tribunal of the Cherokee Nation dismissed the councilors' injunction due to their inability to show harm to them from the marriage.

On Jan. 26, 2006, Fields, acting as court administrator, filed a petition with the Judicial Appeals Tribunal to direct her on how to handle the couple's license. The petition stated that Fields needed to know if her acceptance of the marriage license would violate her sworn duties on handling official records and documents since the law had changed to one man and one woman.

Fields said in her petition the court could find her criminally liable for filing the couple's marriage license.

Richardson said the National Center for Lesbian Rights, the law firm handling the couple's case, reviewed the Cherokee law Fields referred to, and said it applied to filing "false or forged document."

"Our marriage was neither falsely acquired or forged regardless of the validity still being determined," Reynolds said.

The couple has not been able to file their license as the court has not issued a final ruling on this petition. For now, their marriage license sits in a bank safe deposit box until that day finally comes.

"This wasn't about getting extra rights — we've got them because we're both Cherokee," McKinley said. "We just wanted to get married."

A Cherokee Nation marriage, however, would allow their marriage to be legally recognized by the state of Oklahoma.

* * *

Cheyenne McKinley, who now lives in Grove, said growing up with two moms seemed no different than that of her friends.

"If anything I think they were more protective and more concerned than heterosexual parents for the fact that they had such a big target [on them] waiting for them to mess up," Cheyenne McKinley said. "My dad was not ever in the picture so Kathy stepped up and took his place. She was there at all of my softball games, my parent teacher meetings ... I wouldn't trade Kathy for the world she is honestly the best parent ever!"

Cheyenne McKinley said she wants people to know that her parents are just "as normal as the next couple."

"[They are] just humans that deserve the same respect as anybody else does," Cheyenne McKinley said. "My parents are just like you. They deserve happiness. If this law passes [and] they can get married it means so much more then just a piece of legal paper.

"It's humanity coming together. It's a God sake. For my parents marriage to be legal would be a miracle. They have fought [for this] almost half of my life."

* * *

McKinley said she knows some people are against her marriage to Reynolds due to religious beliefs.

McKinley said she grew up in the Pentecostal faith and respects the idea that everyone has a right to their beliefs.

"I believe in God," McKinley said, of her beliefs, adding that she believes God made her the person she is. "[If Not] it's for me to face when I see him on Judgement Day.

"We're just ordinary people, we should have the same rights."

Even with Kern's ruling, McKinley is preparing for another lengthy wait. On Thursday, the couple talked with their lawyers from the NCLR about recent decision to see how it might impact their case.

"I want it done. It's been 10 years, it's time to move our state forward," McKinley said. "I'm ready to bulldoze forward. It's been 10 years. When have you heard of someone waiting 10 years to validate their marriage license.

On Thursday, Jim Campbell, a lawyer for the Arizona-based Alliance Defending Freedom, who is representing Sally Howe Smith — one of the defendants in the case before Kern — told reporters with The Associated Press he plans to file briefs explaining the reasoning for the appeal once the court sets a schedule. Campbell said he anticipates the briefs being filed in one to two months.

Smith was named as a defendant in the case after she refused to issue a marriage license to a gay couple. In an interview with The Associated Press shortly after Kern's ruling was issued, Smith said there was no way under Oklahoma law for her to give the couple a marriage license.

In addition to the case involving the Oklahoma law, a similar case from Utah is before the Denver-based 10th Circuit Court of Appeals.

by Kaylea M. Hutson, Writer, The Grove Sun Daily

Copyright 2014 – The Grove Sun Daily, Grove, OK. Distributed by the Associated Press.

The Gayly – January 21, 2014 @ 5:35pm