Gender-neutral communication

by Bruce Hartley
Life Issues Columnist

As a 50-something gay man and co-advisor for the East Central University GSA/PRIDE student organization, I have recently learned some new definitions for pronouns. The new pronouns are called “gender-neutral” and are becoming popular on college campuses and will most likely be catching on in businesses soon.

According to Merriam-Webster Dictionary, the definition for a pronoun is “a word (such as I, he, she, it, we, or they) that is used instead of a noun or a noun phrase.” As our world changes and we welcome more people to live as their authentic selves, we should learn how to communicate inclusively and learn about “gender-neutral pronouns.”

ECU GSA/PRIDE members, Kaylnn Lee and Kaylin Collum, say that we should first understand that a person’s gender identity is how the individuals perceive themselves and what they call themselves. One’s gender identity can be the same or different from their sex assigned at birth.

Further, sexual orientation can be defined as an enduring pattern of romantic or sexual attractions (or a combination of these) to a person of another sex or gender, the same sex or gender, or more than one gender. Deciding how to communicate correctly with a person boils down to how the person wants to be addressed.

I think is it time for us older LGBTQ folks to start rethinking the definition for pronouns and learn about “gender-neutral pronouns.” Here are some examples of pronouns (traditional and gender-neutral) to help us navigate the new world of communication.

Traditional Masculine: “He laughed,” “I called him,” “His eyes gleam,” “That is his,” “He likes himself.”

Traditional Feminine: “She laughed,” “I called her,” “Her eyes gleam,” “That is hers,” She likes herself.”

Gender Neutral (Singular They): “They laughed,” “I called them,” “Their eyes gleam,” “They like themself.”

Gender Neutral (Ze): “Ze laughed” (pronounced: “zee” as in the letter “z”), “I called hir” (pronounced: “here”), “Hir eyes gleam” (pronounced: “here”), “That is hirs” (pronounced: “here’s”), “Ze like hirself” (pronounced at “herself”)

I challenge readers to learn more about “gender-neutral pronouns” in order to communicate better with our LGBTQ friends and family who seek respect from us. It is always good to ask a person how they want to be addressed and never assume anything.

As our language and world continues to evolve, I am confident there will be more pronouns introduced and more to learn. We should continue learning so we can be examples of inclusion to other generations. According to Benjamin Franklin, “Tell me and I forget, teach me and I may remember, involve me and I learn.”   

The Gayly – November 12, 2015 @ 7:20 a.m.