Grandfather of trans girl: 'If you love her, just go with it'

by Sara Ritsch
Staff Writer

Congressman Mike Honda of California’s 17th district was welcomed to the stage at the Democratic LGBT caucus meeting this Tuesday poignantly speaking as an ally to the transgender community.

His granddaughter was 18 months old when she looked in the mirror and said, “I’m a girl.”

Honda continued, “At three, she said, ‘I’m a girl, and my name is Melissa, and this is how you spell it.”

Melissa’s mother, the fourth generation Japanese daughter of Honda, calls this consistency, insistency and persistency.

“When these three things come up in the mind of a child, there’s no question that she has made a decision,” he told the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender audience.

At that time, Honda’s family formally changed her name and gender assignment. Honda’s first priority as a loving family member was to get used to saying the different pronouns. He went to friends and family for guidance and took their advice, saying, “If you love her, just go with it.”

So he went with it.

Honda said he thinks about Melissa’s progression as a young person going through a change in gender identity and what her future path might look like.

“Like Pulse,” he said, referring to the Orlando shooting. “I don’t want that to happen to her. I want the sense of security and safety for her as she moves through her life.”

He thinks about the lesson in articulating her gender assignment, promoting her gender identity and advocating for her path.

“I think the difficult part is just learning to open up and let it go. Let it happen. As if it was a natural thing for your own self to have your child grow up in front of you.

“We’re learning this whole gender thing [isn’t] a binary thing. I learned the wonderful term ‘gender spectrum’.

“As a science teacher, [I know that] we could some day in the future identify ourselves by design.”

Honda describes a monumental moment for him – someone at the LGBT caucus meeting came up to him and introduced herself by saying, “My name is Babs. I’m transgender. Get over it!”

He found so much courage in her introduction and said he hopes the same for his granddaughter.

Speaking up on current events, Honda mentioned Gov. Pat McCrory’s discriminatory law in North Carolina that began as House Bill 2, which targets transgender people. There is debate as to whether HB2 is a federal overreach, since there is an executive order prohibiting discrimination against transgender people.
“If it is a federal overreach, I’m overreaching for my granddaughter,” he demanded.

A true ally to the LGBT community, Honda thanked the audience for acting as his teachers. He left to tears and overwhelming applause.

Copyright The Gayly - 7/27/2016 @ 1:19 p.m. CDT