My “Independence”

by Amanda Kerri
Transgender Columnist

Years ago, I saw a stand up show featuring Ellen DeGeneres. This was after she had come out and she was making a few jokes about being an out lesbian, the big build for the set was the punch line, “Because, you know, I'm their leader.” She had an exasperated look on her face and clearly mocked the sentiment.

She knew full well that she was no more the leader of the lesbians than Jessie Jackson was the leader of black people. She was just probably the most well know lesbian and had the ear of the media.

Recently of course, we have had Caitlyn Jenner come out and replace people such as Laverne Cox as the media darling of the mainstream and the hyped up leader of transgender people. I'll be honest. I don't want Caitlyn Jenner as my leader. I don't think I could afford the membership dues she would require. Caitlyn Jenner represents a very small portion of the trans community.

The only thing I personally have in common with her, is that we're both white. Aside from that, I'm not rich, a national celebrity, an Olympic gold medal winner, don't have Kanye West as a son-in-law (thank God), or have a camera crew following me almost everywhere I go.

When I came out, I didn't have a fashion photo shoot on the cover of Vanity Fair. Hell, I didn't even know Vanity Fair was still in business. I also saw where the first time out really as herself was to a golf course. Mine? Work. Well, I guess when your job is to be an idle rich person, golfing is part of your job.

She's not even a few months into the transition process, and she already has a reality show about her, and of course the big first scene previewed is her sitting at a vanity in a robe that probably costs as much as my car. At least the robe and my car are both white, so there's that.

That's really the big problem though isn't it? The vast majority of trans people are underemployed, can't afford the necessary medical procedures, and aren't media celebrities. Jenner could afford all the facial feminization surgery, gender affirmation surgery, and custom tailored clothes she wants and not even put a noticeable dent in her net worth. Me? If I wanted to finally get my surgery, I probably would have to put it all on credit card and then declare bankruptcy. It's not like they can repossess your vagina, can they?

They can't, right? I really don't want to have a repo guy show up to take back my va-jay-jay.

If Jenner doesn't read the comments or watch the TV shows that talk about her, she would never be exposed to some of the vitriolic hatred trans people face. The mockery, the disgust, the ignorance. When you're a celebrity, you get to ability to surround yourself with people who will heap all sorts of praise and shelter you from the negativity. The rest of us don't have that luxury. Jenner's biggest worry is probably stalking paparazzi. For the average trans person, it's getting attacked for simply walking down the street or going on a date.

Now, I don't want folks to think that I'm trivializing Caitlyn Jenner's experiences of being transgender. The emotional torment one goes through, especially when being as famous and outwardly “normal” acting as she was, can be devastating. That's why drugs, alcohol, suicide and depression is so common among LGBT people. I'm glad she came out, and can take that weight off her shoulders forever. I know I remember how much relief I felt when I finally got to live my life the way I wanted to. It was like my Independence Day!

I just don't want people to think that Caitlyn is in any way a “normal” trans person. The vast majority of us are not famous rich celebrities with easy access to the procedures we need to be ourselves. We haven't grown up in the spotlight, and have the opportunity to have fashion designers designing clothes for us. Hell, many of us have a hard enough time finding a pair of shoes that fit right, much less a pair of Gucci's or Vera Wangs or whatever. (I really don't know what fashionable shoes are, I mostly wear Chucks.)

I'm happy for Caitlyn, I wish her nothing but the best getting to be who she has always felt like she was supposed to be, but I don't want people to think that she is the archetype of a transgender person, because no one is really. There is no archetype of a transgender person. There is no such thing as a “typical” gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender person, as any member of the LGBT community could tell you.

The Gayly – July 6, 2015 @ 7:25pm.