In need of a neuralizer pen

by Phillip Eugene Zee
iQueer Columnist

Phillip,

Years ago, I dated an awful guy. He portrayed just about every negative quality you could imagine. I dated him anyway because I was immature, sad and lonely.

Since we broke up, my life has been great. I have moved on. However, I hear his life is in shambles.

I detest the part of my life I spent with him. I get sick to my stomach thinking about it. How do you remove such a negative person from your memory? Is it possible?

Help,
"MIB" Mike in Tulsa, OK.

Mike,

You seem like a good person and though you would love more than anything to remove the toxicity from your memory, it just doesn’t happen that easily.

Deep down you will also remember him, and it’s for a reason. That reason is to continue to remind you what you do not want in and around your life. If you’re anything like me, you still think about what you could have done to make his life better or was there something you did to contribute to his negative stigma.

These are very natural thoughts as we have a hard time believing that anyone could do such things to people like us. I mean, we are awesome - why anyone would want to mess with that is beyond comprehension.

It seems you have made the right choice by not having him in your life; this alone is probably the greatest achievement when it comes to surrounding yourself with people who are only going to lift you higher.

Now, where I believe you are at is how to take this stomachache and turn it into a positive direction for your life. I have always said it is a choice within us that ultimately sets the foundation to our very own life.

So what can you take from this experience with you forward so you don’t get yourself right back in the same boat? Can you adjust the thoughts that ail your memory? Bend them in the direction of how successful and strong you are as a person. Help you to understand what many people don’t?

That is, that this type of person isn’t deserving of the greatness that is you. These are the times where being selfish is warranted and very much needed! It’s also an attractive quality, if you ask me.

So reward yourself, be proud in the fact that you have a gift that many don’t have. You should thank him (in your mind) for giving you the tools you needed to become a stronger, mature, happy person that put you, as you said, in a great life for yourself!

Don’t hate, congratulate – BOOM!

(P.S. If your initials are in fact MIB, your spirit person is Will Smith!)

Copyright 2016 The Gayly – November 12, 2016 @ 10:45 a.m.

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