Prom: The queer perspective

by Jordan Redman
Staff Writer

Prom season will soon be upon us. Dresses will fly, flowers will bloom, and butterflies will dance in the stomachs of high school students waiting to be asked to the big dance.

For queer kids, the prom experience may differ.

A senior in high school, who wishes to remain anonymous, spoke with The Gayly about his personal prom experience. The student identifies as bisexual, and when deciding who to ask to prom, he had more than just his crush on his mind.

“My parents expected me to bring a girl,” he said. “They didn’t know I liked boys too.”

The student kept his sexuality a secret from his parents until he turned 18.

“I planned everything. The outfit, the dinner, the limo, the afterparty…everything. But I didn’t know how to plan a date when I wanted to take someone I couldn’t.”

He faced a dilemma. Bring who he wanted or bring no one at all.

“Telling my parents I was going to prom with a boy just wasn’t going to happen,” he said. “So, my friends and I came up with a plan. I told the boy I wanted to go with we needed some help, so he enlisted his two friends. [My date] had been best friends with a lesbian couple since the sixth grade, so they agreed to pose as our dates.”

They planned everything out, right down to the last detail.

“We all told our parents we were going as a group. So, if my real date and I took pictures together, it wouldn’t look suspicious.”

“Everyone showed up at my house before dinner, so our parents could take pictures. I matched my fake date, and he matched his,” he explained. “It turns out the girls’ parents had no idea of our plan either.”

Four sets of parents completely fooled by the gang’s plan.

“They still have no idea, and I have no plans to tell them,” he exclaimed. “I don’t know if the others have told their parents. I doubt it.”

All this so he could go to the prom with a boy.

“I wish it weren’t so complicated,” he said. “I feel like I did something wrong because I had to hide it from my parents, even though I know I didn’t.

“I’ve always wondered if other gay kids have these same problems. I grew up in Oklahoma, so I understand what hiding is like,” he asserted.

“We should go with who we want, be who we want, without worrying about what other people think or say.”

He has one last piece of advice for future prom-goers.

“Having to come up with an elaborate plan just to go to prom with who I wanted was worth it. I wouldn’t recommend it though. We all have to live with lying to our parents about our first prom, which sucks.

“It’s tough to be who you are in this world; I’m still figuring that out. If prom is that important to you, go with who you want to go with, regardless of what anyone thinks.”

The Gayly. March 26, 2018. 9:54 a.m. CST.