Marriage equality: The morning after

by Amanda Kerri
Trans Issues Columnist

I have mixed feelings about the recent victory in the fight for gay marriage. In one regard I'm not happy about it because I have absolutely terrible commitment issues. While in another I'm excited because now I will get invited to more weddings, cause I freaking love cake!

I'm also glad that the gay marriage decision came the week after our Pride celebration because I'm sure come Monday morning I would be dead or have gotten drunk married. That's another fun thing to think about; now LGBT people can go on blackout benders in Las Vegas and wake up married to a total stranger.

However, I think the thing that kind of brings me down the most is the fact that we're only in the second act of this play. For those of you who are more butch, top of the fourth. With the victory over gay marriage, I'm sure that a lot of the LGBT lobbyists and activist groups with a lot of money will close up shop and move off to their honeymoon cottage. Since they already have nice well-paying jobs, can pass as straight, and get their marriage tax deduction, what else do they have to worry about? Okay, aside from losing half in the divorce.

And that's where we are. We got the right to marry, we always had the right to vote, and being gay in public has been legal nation-wide since...2003 (seriously). Some of us think we're done, and that's it. Let me just throw this out there for people to think about: Boy, blacks and women sure have had it easy since they won their big legal fights haven't they?

Did you note the sarcasm there? I was being sarcastic, if you didn't notice. We aren't even close to being done here folks. It’s been 41 years since the Civil Rights Act and African-Americans still get treated like crap sometimes. You think it's a walk in the park now? We're entering what’s actually the worst part of this whole ordeal.

The hangover.

We won our biggest victory yet, we're high as a kite, we've partied hard in celebration, but now it's the morning after. The huge headache, the fact we still can be fired without cause for simply being gay is still an issue. We still don't have equal access to housing. All of our weddings can be ruined because people won't bake us a cake, and that makes me really mad, because again, I freaking love cake.

What's even worse than that, is that even after laws are passed that will protect us from all that discrimination, then we'll get that quiet type. The slurs, stereotypes, public harassment, the silent harassment, and even outright violence are going to keep happening. While African-Americans suffer from the effect of “walking while black,” LGBT people will have “walking while queer.”

I know that this all sounds dreadfully depressing. Some of you might be thinking, “C'mon Amanda, lighten up, we just had a huge victory, let's celebrate and enjoy it for a bit.” I am celebrating and enjoying it. You should too. But I also look at this like I would any time I go out and have a little bit too much fun; I need to be willing to pay the price in the morning. That means aspirin, a good heavy meal, a lot of glasses of water, and probably calling in sick in the morning anyway.

To reach full equality is going to take a long time and a lot more fighting. I'm going to enjoy it for now, but I'm going to be ready for it to suck for a bit longer. This is not going to be a piece of cake by any means, but it’s the way it is...and I know this, cause I freaking love cake.

The Gayly – August 4, 2015 @ 1:40pm.