The Porthole bans “lifelong friend” involved in anti-LGBT incident

by Sara Ritsch
Staff Writer

In an interview with The Porthole, an OKC bar that was recently involved in an anti-LGBT scandal, owner John Ross described the steps he has taken to resolve the conflict. He has done exactly what the public called for: he banned the man involved.

On February 19, a couple was thrown out of the bar for being gay. Lola Lemmon and Jennifer Skiba were respectful patrons; their only ‘mistake’ was a peck on the lips.

The man who took the steps to get rid of them claimed to be a manager, but was not, in fact, an actual employee. He was a lifelong friend of Ross.

The man, who remains anonymous, ran errands for The Porthole. “He no longer works for the company,” Ross said immediately. “And by ‘works here,’ I mean if I ask him to go to the store to pick up milk or to SAM’s Club, that’s what he did.

“I asked him not to hang out here anymore because this has gotten out of total sensibility. He had no sense doing that.”

The Porthole’s Facebook reviews have brought their rating down to 2.4 stars, with over 50 one-star ratings after the incident, which went viral. The posts contain words like “bigots” and “homophobia”, and several of them call for the man to be removed from the bar.

“He doesn’t need to be around here telling anyone to do anything,” Ross agreed.

But, this is not an easy decision for owner Ross, who described his action taken.

“If you had a friend you’ve known for forty years and they made a bad mistake would you drop your friend? By my telling my friend I don’t want him hanging around the bar, that’s about the best I’m going to be able to do.

“As far as me personally or my bar, there is no way that anybody could ever sit there and say that I didn’t respect them or their lives,” he says, when asked about protecting his LGBT patrons.

“This bar has less trouble than any bar in Oklahoma City [thanks to] my sparkling personality,” he jokes. “This wouldn’t have happened at all if I’d been there.”

And when asked if Ross had anything to say to the women involved in the incident, he said, “You have my most humble apology.”

Lemmon, whose voice was the first heard when her initial post went viral, accepted his apology but further addressed the situation.

“I think [banning him] is a great first step to ensuring safety from discrimination for the LGBTQ+ community,” she begins. “I feel so much pride in the response the community has portrayed for me and my partner. So many people have messaged me, with loving, uplifting words, and to these people I give the utmost thanks. We have so much work left to do, but we are strong.”

The victimized voice must be heard, and here we have an activist who is not afraid to share her thoughts for the benefit of the LGBT community.

Lemmon addressed the incident with her own solutions. “I sincerely appreciate the apology from John Ross. I think as a business The Porthole needs to set very clear, defined non-discrimination policies and post them at their business. This would go a long way in ensuring safety for all patrons, regardless of race, gender, or sexual orientation.

“I feel as if they might need to implement stricter security, as there was no one in the bar as far as employees go that stood up for us. When my friend left her debit card, and we had to go back to pick it up, even the bartender told us we were not allowed in the bar. We feel as if one of the employees should have stood up for us.

“I do believe the staff needs to accept some responsibility for this. A part of their job is protecting their patrons, and that did not happen for us. It would go a long way for me, for Mr. Ross to reach out and give a personal apology to me and Jennifer and a public apology on his Facebook page to the LGBTQ+ [community].

“Regardless, through this situation, I feel empowered. I'm so proud of everyone banding together to fight against intolerance.”

In a situation such as this, the people involved have the power to heal more than hurt. The lesson taken? Our LGBT community will remain strong.

The Gayly – 2/23/2016 @ 4:05 p.m. CST