Will they accept me?

by Allison Blaylock
Trans Advice Columnist

I read in a trans-FB group a column you had done and wanted to see if I could ask a question. I think my situation is unique, but it probably isn't.

I transitioned years ago and walked away from the LGBT community. I figured "why do I need to be a part of that anymore? I'm no longer a part of “their” community."

But I gotta tell you. As I get older, things change, and I wonder why I decided to walk away. I had many great friends within the community. I lived near Ft. Lauderdale at the time, and I really miss those people. I could really relate to them, and we shared that common bond. After I transitioned, I just tried for a while to "ignore" I was even trans.

Anyway, I came across your column, then shortly after I read about Trans Day of Remembrance events going on. I felt like with those two things, and the fact I have been thinking so much about those old friends and our common bond back then, it was a sign I need to reconnect myself with the community. I'm not even in the same city. I'm now in Ohio. I know how to find places/organizations, but I wanted your advice on how people might accept me since I just "walked out" on the LGBT (mainly trans) community so long ago. Will they hate me for walking out? I need that sense of community with my trans brothers and sisters.

What would you think?

Bailey Campbell

Dayton, OH

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Dear Bailey,

I do know of many transgender individuals who “walk away” from the community after they have transitioned. The reason I have seen and heard is that they do not want to be clocked, outed, or so forth because of being around other transgender individuals. They feel they may not have the ability to blend with society as much as the individual does.

I know the need for resources and help is one thing many transgender individuals seek in the beginning, once there is no longer a need for these they also tend to walk away. I have seen this in those who have not even fully transitioned but have the needed things.

I will say there is never a question of accepting a person back into the community. The reality is, you just took some time away.

I would say things would be different if you said hateful things, caused people to receive harm or talked negatively about the transgender community. You simply lived your life and felt there was no longer a reason to hold on to the adjective to describe yourself; you simply moved on as the person you are.

I am sure many people in the transgender community can learn from what you have done and the struggles or the highlights you have had.

I know when I talk to those who have paved the way before me, I can learn so much, and I gather their information as a true benefit.

If you are willing to share this information in groups you find and can help just one person, then you are truly a blessing. I truly have valued insights I get from so many I come in contact, whether it is the person who has come to me for the very first-time seeking advice on how to transition or the person who I am learning from because they have gone through something I have not.

Knowledge truly is powerful and the more we share this, the more we can squash the ignorance out there in the world.

Alli

Copyright The Gayly – February 19, 2019 @ 7:55 a.m. CST.